When Empathy Works Against You

The Archangels Talk About Emotional Balance

I read the other day that “empathy” is the new “woke” target for criticism, and I thought, how can anyone be against empathy, for crying out loud.  In my mind, empathy is essential and for me, very natural, but I realize not everyone feels that way.  I’ve known people who have no empathy for others, who think that everyone is on their own as far as finding their way.  They’re usually pretty focused on survival (of the fittest, as a rule), and they’re not usually pleasant people with whom you enjoy spending time.  However, there are also those who are very empathetic to some and withhold it from others.  I’ve certainly been guilty of that at times.

Empathy can be both incredibly easy to trigger these days as well as challenging to apply.  For example, I see the suffering going on everywhere, whether with regard to immigration, healthcare, persecution of certain groups, war, etc. Everywhere you look, there is suffering of one kind or another.  I’m very sensitive to energy, and I’m naturally nurturing, so the empathy I feel for others can be overwhelming, if I’m not careful.  The other side of that is the anger I often feel toward those who cause these problems or whose actions contribute to the suffering of others.  It’s sometimes hard to release that anger, and it’s equally hard to empathize with those who provoke it.  That’s why I don’t spend much time reading or listening to the news.  If I do, I sacrifice my joy and peace of mind, and that’s not good.

The more I thought about that comment criticizing empathy, the more I could see that, like most things, too much of a good thing can become problematic, so I asked the Archangels to comment on empathy and keeping it in balance.  Their response follows.

Question:  I want to write about empathy.  How can we balance the strength with the weakness of it, meaning how do we block it from upsetting us and possibly aggravating the situation?

Answer:

You are evolving, dear friend.  A few weeks ago, you would only have recognized empathy as a strength, yet now you recognize the need to balance it.  You will realize more and more that all things, including emotions, need balance.

Empathy becomes a disability when the empathy you feel for some prevents you from feeling it for others.  This is when there becomes an imbalance not only in the emotion, but in the person who feels it.  It is far easier to feel empathy for those who struggle and suffer than for those who cause the struggling and suffering, yes?  While this is understandable, it is important and necessary to accept that everyone is deserving of empathy.  Those who cause harm to others and lack empathy for them are almost always the victims of a deprivation of empathy.  If you suffer greatly and are never shown empathy, how can you know it, much less offer it to others?

That is not to say that those who cause harm to others should be excused, or that they should be allowed to continue causing harm.  However, despite their actions, they still have worth and value simply because they are human, created by the same One who created everyone and everything.  Empathy must be extended to everyone, not only because everyone is worthy of it, but because if you cannot extend it to everyone, your peace of mind will suffer, because your emotions will not be balanced.

For example, when you see the suffering or mistreatment of others, if you are empathetic toward them, you also suffer to some extent, do you not?  This is good in that the suffering is noted, the damaging reactions are rejected, and the desire to improve the lives of those suffering surfaces and can act as a catalyst for change. 

This is happening a lot right now.  People see the mistreatment and inequity happening in the world, and they are finding it unacceptable.  This is leading to unity and change, and that is greatly needed.  When improvements are made, the resulting energy will add to other causes and trigger positive growth in others.  However, if the empathy you feel for the victims leads to hatred and the desire to cause harm to those who harmed them, the energy attached to the abuse is perpetuated, and the positive energy is stalled, perhaps doused entirely.  From an energetic standpoint, even if the victims who triggered that initial feeling of empathy were somehow helped, there will only be another group eventually who suffers, because when empathy is unbalanced and only offered to some, not all, the positive energy that could have helped with balance and evolution is lost or at least greatly diminished. 

So, be angry at the mistreatment of others, for that anger is justified, but then choose to release it and regain balance and peace.  When there is a controversy or a conflict, do not be for one side and against another, but rather be for all people, for justice, equality, and compassion for all.  And when your empathy is triggered, embrace it, and offer it freely, but do not limit or withhold it from others, even when they cause harm, and do not allow it to destroy your peace of mind for long.  It is impossible to know the history, experiences, reasoning, and causes of the things that happen in the world or the people who do them.  Further, the “bad” things that happen usually serve a higher purpose, many of them part of various life plans of the souls who are involved and volunteered to serve a particular purpose.

You do not have to accept or excuse unjust actions of others or the people behind them, but you should acknowledge that they still have value and worth simply because they are human, and for that reason they deserve to be treated better than how they treat their victims, because even if they do not know or practice empathy, you do, and you should recognize it as a strength and a necessity.  Endeavor to offer it to everyone, whether they value and practice it, or not.  Perhaps seeing empathy in action toward them will teach them better what empathy is and why it should be valued.

When you do this, you not only restore your own emotional balance, but your energy helps to balance the energy around you in people and in situations, and the low vibration of energy behind the mistreatment of others rises, thereby making it less likely that such low vibrational behavior is repeated.  This leads to long-term, sustainable change that extends to preventing future, similar problems, rather than putting a band-aid on an infection that will continue to spread.

Recognize empathy for the strength that it is, but do not let it overpower you and morph to long-lasting anger and outrage, which damages your peace of mind.  Neither should you withhold it from others, which just adds to the negativity and reinforces the low vibrational energy they carry.  Strive for balance, so you can empathize with others and maintain your peace of mind, so you are better able to contribute to long-term solutions.

Final Thoughts

To be honest, it’s still hard for me sometimes to not curse certain politicians and their policies, for example, or those who persecute others for whatever reasons or purposely harm others.  They make me angry, and I hate the things they are doing.  It hurts me to see others suffering needlessly and it disrupts my peace of mind.  But, then, I focus on releasing that anger and I dig deep to find compassion to replace it.  I don’t know what makes people do the things they do sometimes, but it must be something pretty “bad” in their backgrounds, and I’m glad I’m not like them.    

For example, I saw a guy yelling at a crowd in Georgia, carrying a big sign that read something like “Only Jesus saves!”as people greeted and encouraged the group of monks who are walking for world peace.  They started their trip in Texas, and they’re headed for Washington D.C., and their peaceful demonstration is inspiring others along the way.  I thought, “Who in their right mind would protest a peace walk?”  The monks don’t seem to have any hidden agenda, and they’ve stated that they’re not asking anything from anybody, not trying to convert anyone to their religion or way of thinking.  They’re just trying to do something positive during very trying, uneasy times. 

Then, I thought, I feel sorry for someone who feels threatened by a group of monks marching for peace and who feels it’s necessary to harass them and the people who are cheering for them.  That person is lost and miserable.  He’s been misled by fear and manipulated by others who have used anger and persecution within his religious context to control and manipulate him.  I hope someday, he also finds peace.  I try to apply that compassion and empathy to everyone, even those who I don’t like very much or who do things of which I deeply disapprove.  I’m not always immediately successful.  I still slip into anger from time to time, triggered by my empathy for others who are suffering, but eventually, I’m usually able to restore balance and regain my peace of mind.  The Angels say I’m perfectly imperfect, as we all are, and I know I’m a work in progress.

If you’re interested and available tonight, please consider joining our group for Friday night meditation with the Archangels from wherever you are, at whatever time you’re available.  Just call to them and offer your loving energy to anyone who needs it.  The intention for that loving energy for the month of January is Truth.  Focus on sending your energy to those who need help with accepting, finding, processing, and responding to the truth out there that we need in our lives, whether it’s pleasant, or not.  They’ll hear you and add your energy to the group’s and deliver it where it’s most needed. 

I hope you have a wonderful weekend and practice giving as well as receiving empathy as it’s needed. 

Blessings, all.