The Only Control We Have is Over Ourselves

The Archangels Say That is Enough

I often say I’m a recovering control freak.  I like to be in charge, make plans, avoid obstacles, and believed for a long time that I was in control of my life.  I spent most of my life believing I could choose my own destiny, decide my circumstances, and choose my situations.  There’s a small degree of truth in that, but most of what we contend with in life is not within our circle of control, and once you realize and understand the truth in that, life becomes easier to manage.  We can’t always make things go our way.  There are too many outside factors out of our control.  The best we can do is remain as flexible as possible and adjust our plans as needed, especially these days as things continue to change at such a rapid pace.

We can’t control other people, even though so many of us try to do so.  There are several movements to do exactly that, and they are causing a lot of stress and strife, and in the end, they won’t be successful.  Christian Nationalists are trying to make everyone follow Christian rules.  The more they push, the more resistance they are faced with, because in the end, people will not be controlled.  Soon, the Supreme Court will decide whether or not it is constitutional to require the Ten Commandments to be posted in public school classrooms and whether or not they will enforce the country’s history of separating church and state. 

In my mind, it’s an easy decision to make, but I don’t trust this group of justices to see beyond their own agendas, so who knows what will happen?  Rather than losing sleep over it, however, I remind myself that whatever they do or decide is out of my control.  If they find in favor of the requirement of biblical scripture being required in schools, including being taught in schools, I think it will be a loss to freedom and democracy, and that’s significant, but do they really think that everyone will become Christians because the posters are required, or because Bible stories are included in the curriculum, as they are in Texas?

There will never be one accepted religion in the country, much less the world.  People are too different!  Whether or not the Court finds in favor of the required display, it’s not going to create a homogenous group of Christians or convince people to convert from their own religion to theirs.  If anything, it will create more resentment and resistance to it.  Christianity is under attack like never before in modern history.  People are leaving churches and religion in droves.  Because of the actions and plans of a relative few, Christians are now on the defensive, trying to undo the damage to their reputation they now carry due to a subgroup who is trying to control others and force their beliefs on them.  That’s not going to happen whether they teach the Bible and display the Ten Commandments, or not.  These religious zealots are fooling themselves if they think their plan is going to create a strictly Christian nation.

I think every war that has ever been fought has revolved around a combination of greed and the desire to control others and force them to comply with someone else’s agenda.  We have never had a worldwide time of peace, because wars never permanently solve whatever problems prompted the conflicts.  Wars begin and end, and then they begin again.  Governments can control the actions of people to a certain extent through laws and consequences for breaking them, but they cannot control people’s minds, beliefs, or thoughts.  Eventually, resentment continues to build until another war breaks out, and we’re back to fighting each other.

It took me a long time to realize that the only things I can truly control are my own actions and reactions.  Controlling my actions is easier than controlling my reactions, by far.  How many times do we say things like, “He makes me so mad!”  “I can’t change the way I feel.”  “I’m not going to let them get away with that.”  “That’s not fair!”  “I will never accept that.”  It’s not that there is no truth to these sentiments, and we are certainly entitled to our own feelings, good and bad, but if you get stuck there, it will be to your own detriment, not to mention frustration.  We cannot control what others do or think or believe.  We cannot and should not make anyone else’s decisions when it comes to their own life choices.  We need to focus on our own lives, not others’.  We can accept others’ choices and their right to make them without agreeing with them.  Christian Nationalists would do well to consider this.  They have the right to believe as they choose, but they do not have the right to force those beliefs on others.

I asked the Archangels about this need for control over others that so many people have.  They have said many times that we are going to have to give up this need for control if we are going to have a peaceful world, so I asked them to discuss this in more depth.  Their response follows.

Question:  You have often said that we should not try to control other people as long as their choices do not do harm to others.  How do we go about this?

Answer:

The way you go about this very important and relatively new concept is to focus on yourself, your own life, rather than on the lives and choices of others.  This requires a paradigm shift in several areas.  You must consider that there is rarely only one correct way of doing something.  You must accept differences in others, whether or not you agree with those differences or their subsequent choices.  You must acknowledge that everyone has the right to create their lives in their own fashion.

These are very different views and concepts compared to societal views of the past.  Up to this point in your world’s history, people have very much been subjected to the demands of those in power, which as was mentioned, has led to many wars.  The subjugated will almost always inevitably rise in protest eventually, because it goes against human nature to agree to be controlled by others.  You see this happening right now all over the world as governments are faced with protests and uprisings in multiple places.  Human beings crave the opportunity to live their lives as they choose, rather than how they are told.  That is why open, accepted slavery of people has failed, although all of you have been enslaved to some extent in various ways.  Ensuring the lack of opportunity and equality is a less overt way to enslave people, but these things still serve to entrap them.

You are in the midst of a great shift in consciousness, and it comes with many challenges.  We often bid you to focus on your own life, which to many sounds very inconsequential, yet that will be the key to change.  We have told you that you must raise your personal levels of joy, hope, love and peace in your life, that if you do this, the surrounding chaos cannot deter or affect you nearly as much as it has in the past.  This is an essential and required step needed before the world will change and become a better place to live.

Try not to concern yourself with what others are doing.  Be aware of what is happening in the world, seek transparency and truth, but realize that alone, you cannot change the world.  You can only change yourself, so that as unity grows among you, you will be ready to embrace and affect the changes that are needed and that will eventually take place.  What you can do now is prepare yourself for them by embracing a higher consciousness that is at your disposal anytime you choose to move in that direction.

Practically speaking, this means accepting that you cannot and should not try to control others’ choices and actions as long as they do not harm others.  Find your own path and allow others to do the same.  Sometimes they will be parallel, and other times, they will go in opposite directions, and that is alright.  One does not have to be right and the other wrong.  They can be very different and still be right for each individual.  By accepting and adopting this belief, you will open the door to more equality and more freedom in the world.  You do not have to agree with others’ beliefs and actions, but you do need to accept that they have the right to choose them, just as you do.  You do not have to take the same path that others take.  You can continue along your own path and allow others to continue along theirs.

You must make peace with the fact that trying to control others and limit their choices to what you choose for them is not only ineffective, but it is wrong.  Nobody wants to be controlled.  You do not want to be controlled, so you must stop trying to control others.  Why should you care what someone else does, as long as it does not limit or harm you or others?  Their choices may not be right for you, but they can be right for them, just as your choices may not be right for them, but they are right for you.  Standing up for what you believe in does not mean making sure that everyone else does things your way.  You can stand in your power and act according to your beliefs and allow others to do the same thing, even if their beliefs and actions differ from yours.

As our channel stated, this requires a focus on not only your actions, but your reactions, and yes, controlling and adjusting your reactions is much more difficult than controlling your choices and decisions.  In fact, few people ever master this skill, but most can improve and control reactions for the most part.  Let us return to the idea of building on more joy, hope, love, and peace within your life.  You cannot be at peace or joyful if you are angry and fearful.  It is unlikely that you can successfully and permanently decide to never be fearful or angry again, and you certainly cannot guarantee that others, through words and actions, will never provoke these emotions in you in the future.  There are many times that people and situations will trigger unwanted and unpleasant emotions, but then you must decide what to do with them.

You can choose to cling to those feelings and allow your joy and peace to be replaced by them, or you can choose to release them as quickly as possible.  You are entitled to all of your feelings, and there are often going to be good reasons for you to feel angry and fearful.  Acknowledge and process those feelings.  Then, decide to release them and replace the joy and peace that lessened because of them.  Just as anger and fear replace joy and peace, you can choose to discard them and restore that joy and peace in whatever ways work for you.

For example, if a media story comes to your attention that triggers anger in you, such as hearing about the mistreatment of others or the misbehavior of others in word or deed, there is nothing wrong with feeling outrage and anger.  Allow those feelings.  Acknowledge them and their cause.  Then, you have a choice to make.  You can either decide to stay angry and foster that anger, as it was initially justified due to what happened, or you can decide that you do not want to continue to feel that way and work on releasing those feelings, then replacing and rebuilding the joy and peace you lost while feeling them.  It is a choice, a decision.  It is not an issue of who was right or wrong or whether or not what happened was justifiable.  You can feel strongly about the situation, and you can still release the anger if you focus on releasing it, because you do not wish to continue to feel that way and because you recognize that the situation is not within your realm of control, so there is no point in staying upset.

We know this is very much easier said than done.  Know that it takes practice, determination, and a lot of repetition before it becomes a habit, but it is a habit worth forming and making a part of your life.  You cannot control the actions of other people, but only yourself.  You cannot force people to change, only yourself.  You cannot make others do the right thing.  You can only do what is right for you and accept that others must decide for themselves what they will do, whether their actions are malicious in nature, or not.

The bottom line is, you should not concern yourself with others’ choices and actions and beliefs.  Whether you agree with them or not, they have the right to live their lives as they see fit, as long as their choices do not harm others. There are laws in place in most cases to guard against harm to others, and there are people in place to enforce those laws, but in terms of making life choices, everyone should be free to live as they choose.  You do not have to agree, but you do need to accept that it is their right to choose, just as it is your right to choose how to live.

If you allow yourself to become upset over others’ choices, beliefs, and actions, you will always be upset, because you will never agree with everyone.  You should actually be focused on bringing more joy, hope, love, and peace into your life, rather than what others are doing and creating your own life in a way that fulfills and satisfies you.  Be true to yourself and your beliefs, but do not expect others to follow in your footsteps.  Perhaps they will, and perhaps they will not, but that should not concern you.  Do not focus on what you cannot control, and that is most things.

Focus instead on what you can control, and that is limited to yourself, and to be successful at that requires making that choice and expending the time and effort required to make it a habit.  In fact, if you do this correctly, you will not have time to worry about what others are doing and how they are living.  Live your own life, and concede that others should do the same thing.  You do not know what is best for anyone but yourself, and even then, you sometimes make mistakes, yes?

Know yourself and be true to yourself.  Work on controlling and choosing your actions and reactions, rather than allowing the outside world to provoke you into doing and feeling things that will threaten your joy and peace of mind.  The more you focus on your own life, the less the outside world and other people will affect you and the happier and more resilient you will be.  It is entirely possible and certainly advisable to be at peace even when the world around you is in utter chaos.  You do not have to join that chaos.  You can choose to be aware of it without participating in it.

Final Thoughts

I remember when I first started working on this, I would get very frustrated with myself, because I would still get angry when I became aware of someone or something that happened that I strongly disagreed with, and I would feel the anger rising and think I’d failed to control my reaction AGAIN!  However, the Archangels pointed out that I was judging myself too harshly, that rather than focusing on the fact that something made me mad, I should be celebrating the realization that I didn’t want to stay mad, that I wanted to have a different reaction and restore my peace of mind as soon as possible, rather than continue to feed the anger.  I still get mad sometimes.  Who doesn’t?  We’re human!  But I don’t like how it feels when I’m angry, so I work at releasing that anger.  That doesn’t mean I agree or excuse the actions of others, it just means that I focus on myself, the only person I can control, rather than focusing on others, who I cannot control.  Most of the time, that keeps me sane.

This is especially true right now with the midterm elections coming up.  I can’t control how others vote or if they choose to vote.  I can’t control the outcome of the elections.  I can’t control whether or not there is dishonesty and cheating going on, but I can choose to remain honest, and I can choose to vote the way I feel is right.  I don’t have to justify my choices to anyone, and no one else has to justify their choices to me.  We’re entitled to our own beliefs and decisions, and we should accept that everyone has that right.  Just because someone votes differently than I do doesn’t mean they’re my enemy.  I may not understand them, but I don’t have to.

The Angels have often said that it isn’t the politicians who will change the world, it is the masses.  We can’t do that while divided.  Let’s work towards unity, trying to understand each other better, and accepting each other’s differences, whether or not we’ll ever agree.  The fact is, we’re all in this together.  We can agree to disagree, and we do not have the right to control each other or try to force each other to do our will.

The intention for Friday Night Meditation with the Archangels this month is Renewal.  Most of us are feeling overwhelmed these days for one reason or another, and we could all do with a reset, don’t you think?  Wherever you find yourself at whatever time you’re available, reach out to the Archangels, through thought or speech, and ask for their help.  Offer loving energy for renewal for yourself, others, and the world, if that is what is on your mind.  They’ll hear you, and they’ll gather our energy and disperse it to where it’s most needed.

I hope you have a wonderful weekend full of joy, hope, love, and peace, and I hope you will think about focusing your efforts and control over your own life, rather than over others’.

Blessings, all.