It'll Be Worth It, Assuming I Survive
Photo by Gustavo Zambelli on Unsplash
I’ve been wanted to move to a smaller house since my husband died twelve years ago. He’s gone, my kids are grown, and it’s just me and a whole lot of stuff we’ve accumulated over the decades.
For years now, I’ve thought about it. I’ve researched various aspects including buying vs. renting, house vs. condo/townhome/apartment, interest rates, closing costs, and a million other things. My current house isn’t paid off completely, but I don’t owe a lot more on it, so I’ll have a sizeable down payment for the new one, which is the only way I can afford to buy something else. Honestly, I don’t know how anyone breaks into buying a home anymore! I feel so sorry for the younger generations.
Speaking of our descendants, I hear a lot of griping on their part about how we boomers are taking up all the family sized homes, and we should get out of them and turn them over to younger families who need the room. Here’s the thing, guys, there aren’t many choices out there for those who want or need to do that. The house I’m selling is nearly 2000 square feet, three beds/2 baths, a big yard and plenty big enough for a family. I don’t need the space, and I don’t want the upkeep anymore, but it’s not as easy as you might think to change homes.
The house I’m buying is under 1400 square feet, 3 beds/2 baths, all small (one will be my office), a small yard, perfect for my needs, but it’ll cost me as much or more as my big house sells for, which is a little aggravating. I’m paying less for more, which I’ve come to terms with, since it’s what I want and much better suited for me, but it still rankles. You’d think selling a large house and buying a smaller one would financially work in my favor, but that’s simply not the case. Also, I’m leaving my side of town, where the real estate is more expensive, and moving to a less expensive side of town with fewer conveniences in terms of shopping, healthcare, etc. It’s not the ghetto, by any means, but I’ll miss the many conveniences living on my current side of town offers.
My new house will be much more energy efficient, and it’ll be much more easy for me to keep clean and up to date. The builder has a very good reputation, everything will be under complete warranty for two years, they’ll come out whenever I ask them to and check to see that everything is functioning as it’s supposed to (including after a seasonal windstorm to check for roof damage, which is common in my area), and if my electricity exceeds $40 a month for the first year, they’ll reimburse me for the excess. I’m using the builder’s lender, and they’ll cover all closing costs, and the most exciting thing for me? Since they won’t start building it until next month (it won’t be move-in ready until mid-April), I get to choose all the colors for tile, paint, landscaping (front yard only), fixtures, cabinets, lighting, etc. This is a lifelong dream of mine, and I’m finally doing it!
I’ll put the bulk of the money I get from selling my house on the new property, but I’m holding back enough that I can buy some new furniture, décor, pay for backyard landscaping, etc. When I’ve had all I can take of sorting and packing for the day, I spend some time looking at things like new shower curtains, couches, tables, etc. to even out the exhaustion with a little excitement about what I have ahead of me.
Speaking of sorting and packing, phew, what a mess and what an enormous job! My late husband bought this house before he met me, and I’ve never really liked it. The main bedroom is too small with virtually no closet space, there’s not enough storage in the kitchen, and I hate the floor plan. While the back yard is beautiful and huge, it’s way too much for me to keep up with, even if I didn’t hate yard work (and I do!). Before we married, I owned my own house, which was just as big as his, but he had a lot more equity in his at the time, so we sold mine and kept his, and not everything fit. There are still things in the garage that we stored there when I moved in! I figure if I haven’t needed that stuff since then, it’s time to get rid it, but I have to sift through more stuff before I can even see what’s there! My car hasn’t fit in the garage for years!
I’ve almost finished sorting through everything inside the house, but the thought of tackling the garage is extremely intimidating. Little by little, one step at a time is my mantra. The good thing is, it’s easier to decide to get rid of something when I ask myself, “Do I really want to box this up and move it to the new, much smaller house and find a place for it?” More times than not, the answer is no. But that leads to another issue. What am I going to do with all the stuff I don’t want anymore, including the old furniture I plan to replace? The answer: Estate Sale! I don’t even care how much of the profits they take for themselves, as long as they haul off whatever doesn’t sell, and they will.
This leads to yet another problem, and that has to do with separating what I’m keeping, what I’m selling, and organizing things in such a way that they don’t get mixed up and ensuring I still have space to move around. It’s virtually impossible! So, I’ve decided to put the things I’m keeping into storage, have the Estate Sale, then either live sparsely for a couple of months, or move the stuff I’m keeping back home until I move. Either way, it’s going to cost some money between movers, storage costs, packing materials, etc. Sheesh! For the time being, I’m stepping around boxes and living in chaos. I’m trying to keep at least a part of the den and my bedroom in some sort of order, but my house in general looks like a cyclone hit it!
The stuff I have an excess of? CD’s (can’t remember the last time I played one, since I download all my music now), clothes (in a variety of sizes and styles, many outdated [that’s outdated in sizes and styles, also]), and books, books, and more books!!! Somewhere in the garage are even music albums, although I got rid of the cassettes long ago, so I’m pretty proud of myself for that, at least. My husband and I are both voracious readers, and honestly, if it wasn’t for the timely invention of electronic books years ago, I would’ve moved myself out of house and home long ago! I remember my husband and I trying to figure out where we could fit another bookcase before we switched to downloading books. I’m trying to limit myself to six boxes of books to be moved to my new place, into my office. That will include children’s books for my grandkids, spiritual books, writing books, and a few miscellaneous faves.
I’m finally getting rid of almost all of my educational professional books, and that was damn hard, even though I don’t ever plan to teach again, because they were collected over my career, and some of them were expensive. I’ve held onto a handful so far, because I may decide to write more articles on education, including some that will help parents help their kids more, although I should probably part ways with them, too, and may if I can convince myself.
I’m also parting with the home improvement, gardening, and many of the cookbooks I’ve accumulated. My house will be under warranty, so I shouldn’t have to learn how to fix things, most of the new back yard will be stone of some kind with a small area of artificial turf for my dog, and no flower beds. Containers only for flowers and other ornamental plants! They’re easy to maintain and water. No mowing, pruning, or pulling weeds ever again, if I have anything to say about it.
The hardest things to get rid of? Things with sentimental value. I’ve read a lot about this, and I’ve found some helpful hints. What’s the point of holding onto memorabilia if all you do with it is box it up and store it in the garage, where no one including you, enjoys it, anyway? So, I’m getting rid of all the CD’s my dad had and the copies he made for me, making sure they’re downloaded on my iPad, so I can still enjoy them without storing the originals he gave me. I remind myself that he is not in those CD’s, he’s in my heart and my memories, but sometimes, it’s still hard.
For the life of me, I can’t part with some of my mother’s DVD’s that we watched and enjoyed together for so many years, so I’m keeping a few and displaying them in my dad’s glass fronted, custom made gun cabinet, which I converted to a media storage cabinet years ago. On top of that cabinet, I’ll display the shoeshine box he used when he was ten years old to make a few cents shining shoes for the military men in the area. I remember him showing me once how he’d snap the cloths and move the brushes all fancy-like and put on a show in hopes of getting better tips. Also, he wrote two autobiographies, one of his early years and one of his years on the fire department. Both are in binders with his pictures in front, and they’ll be displayed next to the shoe shine kit. Maybe I’ll eventually have them professionally bound.
I’m keeping my mother’s China cabinet but selling the dining set. It’s getting a little rickety, and I only like it, because it was my mother’s. I need the storage the china cabinet gives me, for her dishes and mine, and I’m dedicating one shelf to my mother’s picture, some of those DVD’s she loved so much, the beautiful drawings she left me, along with the autobiography she wrote. I think it’ll be a nice tribute to her, better than the table and chairs I’m getting rid of.
I also had a tough time getting rid of favorite CDs and DVDs my husband and I enjoyed together, but I was finally able to let them go. Bobby’s not in those things. He’s in my heart and in my memories. I made playlists of our favorite music, and listening to them reminds me of the good times just as much as playing the CD’s did, and the downloaded music won’t get scratches and skip in places, and it doesn’t take up any room! I’m keeping his favorite guitar and piano, and giving the rest of his guitars to his granddaughter, and I’ll find some way to devise a tribute to him, also, and it will include some of our favorite pictures.
Other things I’m getting rid of include any clothes that have to be ironed! I can’t remember the last time I ironed anything, and I have absolutely no desire to do so again! That means the iron and ironing board are going, too. All those business suits and professional wear? Out, along with the high heels! Nowadays, I spend most of my days in casual, comfortable clothes, mostly t-shirts and shorts or yoga pants. I’ll hold onto a couple of nicer slacks and sweaters and blouses, but I don’t need a closet (s) full of them!
Lots of dishes and kitchen gadgets are getting left behind, also, considering the fact that I rarely cook anymore, and I usually eat on paper plates. What do I need all that stuff for these days? I used them when I had a family to raise and other people to cook for, but I don’t need them anymore. I kept a few storage containers (but only if they had the matching tops!), the dishes and glasses I like the most, and I’m getting rid of all but a couple tablecloths. I only use them during the holidays, anyway, when I set up the catered food I arrange for my family. I’ll keep a couple of placemats and chuck the rest.
I sorted through the linen closet Saturday. Why I had so many sheets sets still has me scratching my head. I read the most you need is 2–3, at the most, so I’m getting rid of the rest. That should still be enough for me to prolong doing laundry for a while when I don’t feel like doing it! I’ll buy new towels for the new house, but I don’t need more than half a dozen at the most, right? I’ll have hand towels for everyday use hanging in the bathrooms, but I don’t need a bunch of extras; a couple should suffice, and who uses washcloths these days? I use those handy dandy pre-moistened sheets. I’ll have bath towels on hand for guests, whoever they might be, although no one’s stayed with me for years. Why did I save old shower curtains, bed skirts (which I haven’t used in years; who does, as they’re a pain to put on and keep centered?), and beach towels? I live in the desert, for God’s sake!
It makes things easier knowing that I really don’t have much choice in getting rid of stuff, as I’m moving to a much smaller place. Also, I’d like to use the garage as a home for my car again. I don’t want any clutter at my new home. My goal is that everything I have in my new place will either be regularly used, or it will bring me joy every time I see it. I’m trying to embrace the minimalist mindset and make every room in my new house welcoming and pleasing to me whenever I enter.
So, wish me luck, won’t you? I’ve got a lot to do, and a long way to go, but I remind myself to focus on how nice it will be once I’m moved into a new place that I get to decorate and make my own, exactly the way I want it. It will reflect who I am now, not who I was when I was married and raising a family or a working, career woman. I’ve changed a lot since then, and it will show. Unless someday I’m unable to live independently, this is the last move I plan to make, certainly the last house I plan to buy. I’m determined to make it into exactly what I want, a place where I’m not only comfortable, but where I’m happy and at peace, just to stay home.
Blessing to all of you.
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