Take a Look in the Mirror

The Archangels Remind Us that Change Begins with Us

If you don’t receive my monthly newsletter, I shared an experience I had this week that doesn’t show me in a particularly bright light.  I often bite the bullet and do this, because I think it’s important to share these things with each other, to remind us that we’re all human, none of us perfect, and we don’t always remember to be the person we aspire to be.  I want to be kind, spiritual, and accepting of others, but I sometimes miss the mark, as most of us do, and when I do, I try to use it as a learning experience and a reminder that working on myself is a never ending, lifelong process, rather than a goal that I am ever likely to completely achieve.

Briefly, I took my friend’s 93-year-old father to the doctor twice this week (the first day we arrived to find out the appointment was for the next day, not the day we arrived), because she was out of town, and her brother refused to take him when his father asked for his help.  I was very judgmental of the son and angry on behalf of his father and sister.  Although the older gentleman is still pretty independent, he can’t safely drive as far as the doctor’s office, and because he’s hard of hearing and has a hard time remembering all the important information, he really needs an advocate and guide when he goes to the doctor, especially a new one, which was the case this week. 

After spending a few days fuming, I stopped myself and realized that I was not only being very judgmental, which I try very hard not to do, but I was jumping to conclusions.  Family is important to me, so I have a hard time understanding when someone doesn’t answer a plea for help from a family member, but for all I know, the son had a good reason for refusing.  Maybe his job or boss hindered him.  Maybe he can’t handle dealing with his father’s health problems.  Maybe he doesn’t know how to help him or just isn’t good at it.  It’s my nature to help someone, especially if they ask for help, but that’s not how everyone thinks or believes, and I shouldn’t judge or assume the worst.

I scolded myself, then I reminded myself that I’m only human, and I make mistakes.  Although I want to be better, kinder, and more spiritual, I’m never going to be perfect, and I comforted myself with the thought that I did catch myself and corrected course, and I got back on track.  That’s a good thing, and the incident served as practice for doing better.  With enough practice, maybe someday I’ll remember not to judge in the first place.  That’s the goal, but as with most cases, it takes time to change bad habits and do better.

Human beings tend to be critical of other human beings.  The world is in a stage of perpetual blame.  We point fingers at each other.  We insult.  We highlight mistakes, and we often don’t forgive or offer grace when someone realizes they’ve made a mistake about something controversial about which we feel strongly.  There is such polarity, aggravation, and accusation that is rampant.  We’ve allowed ourselves to be convinced that we are each other’s enemies, and the only ones that can help are those who are in charge, who want us to remain at odds, because if we unite, they will lose power. 

Politics are rife with this sort of thing.  How many times have you heard someone voice regret for having voted a certain way only to be ridiculed and greeted with responses such as, “Well, you voted for him,” “What did you expect?” or “I told you this would happen!”  Do responses like this help the situation?  In fact, they make things worse.  Who is willing to openly change their mind when they know they will be met with more aggression and hostility?  Frankly, I’m sick and tired of the blame game.  Politicians are more concerned with assigning blame than they are with solving problems.

The stereotyping and generalization are out of control.  One side accuses the other of being bigoted, uneducated, stupid, blind, gullible, and backwards, and their responses include that the other side wants to take away freedom, cater to criminals, convert or groom others for all kinds of things, that they are against God, and are just plain evil.  Meanwhile, the people in power are loving it, because as long as we fight against each other, they can continue to do whatever they want.

If we want the world to change, or perhaps I should say if we want the world to be a better, safer, kinder place to live that offers more opportunities, safety, and peace, we need to stop blaming other people for the problems we face and start looking at ourselves.  We have to stop trying to force and control others and instead look internally for flaws we can work on and areas that need improvement.  Don’t focus about other people and what they’re doing.  Focus on yourself.  Take a good look in the mirror!

I know people make you angry sometimes.  They make me angry, too, but criticizing and blaming and insulting them is not helping the situation.  The fact is, we don’t often understand them or know what has shaped them to be the way they are, feel the things they feel, and act the way they do.  Calling them stupid is oversimplifying the issue and unproductive, and forcing them into compliance with things they disagree with is not a sustainable answer.  We need to come together to find lasting solutions.

I asked the Archangels to comment on this idea that controlling others and forcing them to comply with something is not a lasting solution, and how blaming and insulting “them” only adds to the problem, and their answer follows.

Question:  We are so divided these days, and casting blame only widens that divide. How can we overcome the polarity that seems to guide and rule us and come together to find lasting solutions to the world’s problems?

Answer:

This division you speak of is very real, very organized, and very orchestrated by those who are desperate to hold onto their power and influence.  There are people whose entire focus and effort are devoted to widening the gap and encouraging this division, because they know that if the masses unite, their abusive reigns will come to an end, and that is exactly what needs to happen.

They continue to spend a lot of time, money, and effort to sow hatred, suspicion, and blame among you, and they continue to do everything in their power to keep you apart.  They lie, they manipulate, and they devise plans to perpetuate the myth that the enemy is anyone who is perceived to be different from you, and that any kind of change is the enemy of safety and survival.  They invent scapegoats for you to fight, instead of fighting against them and seeing what they are doing.  They provide diversions and propaganda to distract you, so you will not realize that what they are doing has nothing to do with helping you or the situations that challenge and threaten you.  They do not want things to change, because the way things currently are, rife with chaos and subversion, works best for them.  They profit from the status quo and do not want to change anything.  They do not care about you or your struggles, or wish to help you in any way, because while you suffer, they prosper.  The very things that make your life harder, make their lives easier, and they do not want that to change.  It would be wiser to focus on finding the truth together than to fight each other.

We often advise you to focus on filling your lives with the Big 4, joy, hope, love, and peace and allowing those things to guide your choices and plans.  This is not only because it is good for you, but it is better for the world and all of its problems and furthers The Shift faster than anything else.  When you allow the Big 4 to guide your life, when you allow it to be your foundation and the deciding factor for all things, your energetic vibration rises, and it can have a profound effect on everyone and everything around you, not to mention your life will feel more meaningful, satisfying, and fulfilling.

You are all changing, whether you choose to, or not.  The energy around you affects you to the point that the only choices you have are to open to it and evolve or resist it and be miserable.  You will change, regardless, because the energy cannot be stopped or blocked.  The only thing you can block is your reaction to it.  You can refuse to open your heart.  You can refuse to open your mind.  You can refuse to change your actions and beliefs.  However, you are changed nevertheless, which is why those who refuse to change their ways, their outlook, and their actions are so unhappy and afraid.  By clinging to the old ways and ideals, their energy clashes with the Earth’s energy, and they will never know peace until and unless they open to the things the energy supports, such as love, unity, acceptance, peace, and the relinquishing of control over others.  People like this are in turmoil, and they are ripe for manipulation that encourages their fear and anger, which is why propaganda, lies, and scapegoats are so popular to use as tools to control them.  It is easier to blame others for their misery than to try to change or consider new ways to live.

Many people can see these mistakes in others, but they do not realize that they are suffering from the same thing.  We are happy to tell you that there are fewer people who want to control the world, but there are still many who want to control other people.  Human beings must stop trying to force others to do what they do not wish to do.  People often feel so strongly about certain issues that it becomes too black and white, too right and wrong, for them to accept that, while their views and beliefs are right for them, they are not necessarily right for everyone else.  Most times, there isn’t true right and wrong, there are only differences in needs and opinions.  If you try to force your beliefs and opinions onto others, it will not end well.  There are still too many people who do not care if what they want will work for others, as long as things go their way.  This is wrong for many reasons. 

First, there is too much emphasis on the adoption of one way of doing things.  The expectation that others who disagree with something should have to do it anyway, because you are convinced that it is the only way, the right way, does not usually lead to cooperation or adoption of what you wish to see happen for a sustainable amount of time. Second, the idea that one person or group should be able to make choices for another without their input or agreement is foolhardy at best and can lead to revolution at worst.   This is much of the problem today. 

Power changes in places and areas of authority, such as leadership, governments, and politics, and people are forced to comply with their edicts, and enough people rebel and resist that power changes again, and the same thing happens.  Nothing is permanently solved, because solutions reflect whoever is in charge at the time, rather than attempting to help all, rather than just some people.  There must be an effort to include most, if not all people in the decision making, allowing them to believe that they are equally valued and important, and more choices must be made available that do not infringe on others’ rights and freedoms.  Until this happens, you will continue to struggle with finding sustainable solutions, and rebellion, whether violent or simply determined in terms of replacing those in power without solving anything, will continue.

Think of the things you believe in most strongly.  What do you consider a solution to these problems?  Does it involve choices for those who disagree with you, or does it revolve around forcing others to comply with what you think is right and best?  If it is the latter, even if your idea of a solution is put into place, it will not be sustainable.  This is the problem with laws that force or limit others’ choices, and they are particularly difficult to resolve, because too many people disregard the needs and opinions of others and are focused on forcing them into compliance.  This is what is behind the laws limiting abortion, voting rights, religion, immigration, education, government funding, and every other controversial issue that is currently in existence.  Too many laws reflect the beliefs and opinions of the minority, especially those in power, and offer little in terms of honoring others’ differences of opinion and beliefs.  Too many people are being forced into compliance on things they disagree with, and there cannot be peace until there are acceptable options for everyone. 

The next question becomes acceptable options.  People must reach a point that allows them to accept others’ choices, whether or not they agree with them.  There is a divide regarding abortion right now, because too many people believe they should be able to limit others’ choices and force them to follow their own ideals and beliefs.  They do not want others to be able to choose for themselves what they should do when faced with giving birth to a child.  Whether or not a person has a child or elects not to have a child has no bearing on anyone else, and they should decide based on their own beliefs and needs, not those held by others. 

The same can be said with regard to the LGBTQ+ community issues.  Whoever someone chooses to marry, whether they are of the same or opposite sex, has no effect on other people.  No one else should be able to choose for them or to limit their choices, whether or not they agree with or are comfortable with their choice of spouse.  There is a great bid to hinder choices for the “trans” community right now also.  Whether or not a family chooses to pursue care and treatment for their child, regardless of the circumstances, should be left to the family and medical professionals, rather than to strangers and politicians who have never met the people involved.  People are being manipulated to believe that by taking away these basic choices, they are acting on the behalf of innocent children who are being abused.  It is not about protecting the innocent, it is about control and power over others, and it is about widening the gap between people and distracting them.  As long as choices do not adversely affect others, people should be able to create the lives they want, not the lives others want for them, regardless of beliefs, opinions, and ideals. 

These are big, controversial issues, but there are smaller issues that lead to them.  The idea that others should live their lives according to what you find acceptable is erroneous. Judge what is best for you, not what is best for other people, for you do not know them, what has shaped them, or what is best for them.  If you believe that abortion, same sex marriage, divorce, or whatever other issues you feel strongly about are wrong, do not engage in these things, but do not make the mistake of believing that others should follow your lead, just because you believe it is the best or only way to respond to a situation.  Do not think to impose your ethics and values on others.  If something is not against the law, and if it does not harm others, there should be choice in how it is addressed.  Too many people get caught up in thinking that their way is right, based on religion, a particular belief system, the way they were raised, their backgrounds, etc., but they are not qualified to make choices for others people, only themselves.

When you judge someone, it is almost always based on incomplete information.  When you disagree with someone, you rarely understand them or their reasoning.  Just because your opinion differs from theirs, does not mean they are wrong and you are right.  It does not mean they are stupid, and you are smart.  The fact of the matter is, you have all been lied to and misled.  None of you has all the facts, and you have all been manipulated in multiple ways.  You have received wrong and incomplete information based on the outcome those in power wish to see.  Do not assume you know more than someone else or that they are wrong.  Most people are partially correct and partially incorrect in their thinking, because despite the fact that information is very easy to come by these days, it is almost impossible to get complete, accurate information.  The best assumption you can make these days is to assume that you do not know everything and that at least part of the whole picture is been hidden from you.

We come back to how we began by saying the best thing you can do to assist The Shift and to solve the world’s problems is to focus on yourself and the Big Four.  All of these movements designed to control others and take away or limit choices and freedoms have nothing to do with joy, hope, love, or peace.  They have everything to do with power and control, fear and anger, manipulation and division.  They are not heart-centered, and they will not make you feel better or solve any problems you face.  You should not trust those in power to make your life better or safer, for that is not their aim.  If, however, you focus on yourself and bring more joy, hope, love, and peace into your life, however that looks for you, it will not only make your life better and more manageable, but it will help solve the world’s problems, because you will be in a better position to think clearly and fairly and have a positive effect on everything and everyone else. 

If someone chooses to live their life in a way you cannot condone, allow yourself to accept their right to do so, even if you do not agree with the choices.  Their life choices are their own and do not harm you in any way.  Respect their right to choose their own way, shape their own life, and live according to their own standards and beliefs.  Your choices will not suit them, any more than theirs would suit you.  Different does not mean wrong.  Why should someone be miserable, because they are forced to follow someone else’s ideals?  You would not want that, and you should not force others to live that way, regardless of how strongly you feel about an issue. 

The sooner you accept that people should be able to create their lives as they see fit, in a way that brings them joy, hope, love, and peace, the sooner you will be able to entertain the Big 4 in your own life.  You cannot experience these things without granting them to others.  Everyone is different, and they should be able to pursue the Big 4 in whichever ways work for them, just as you should be able to do that. 

Do not worry about how others are living their lives.  Focus on how you are living your life. If you are dissatisfied, change yourself.  Do not make the mistake of thinking that limiting others’ choices and forcing them to live according to your own beliefs will enrich your own life.  It will not.  Do not judge or blame others for your fear, anger, and unhappiness.  Instead, change your own life and live in a way that suits you, allowing others to do the same.  If viewing others’ choices detracts from your own happiness there is something wrong with your life, not theirs.  If you think you have the right to control others and limit their choices, there is something wrong within you, not them.  Focus on changing your life, not theirs. 

Final Thoughts

I feel strongly about many things, as most people do, but the only people we should try to control is ourselves, and that’s challenging enough.  Emotions often trigger actions, and we have to learn to control that.  Empathy can get in the way sometimes.  My empathy for my friend and her father caused me to judge the son who refused to help him, and that is not my place.  We cannot afford to allow fear and anger to cloud the issues.  We should all be able to create the lives we want and live by our own ideas of what is right and wrong, and we should not try to hold other people to our own standards. 

When I was a teacher, one of the things I always tried to do was provide choices to my students.  If we had read a novel, for example, and I required them to complete an ending project, I tried to give them choices that catered to a variety of strengths and preferences.  One option was artistic, one might involve writing, another might cater to drama or a speech.  They might work alone or with a friend or a group.  I found that if they had a choice, they would become more invested and do a better job, and they could showcase their talents and learn and accomplish more, because they had the power to choose for themselves.  The last option was always open to suggestions which I would consider.  It would have been so much easier to tell them what to do, but by giving the freedom to choose for themselves, the quality of their work and the amount of learning that took place greatly multiplied. 

Choice is powerful and essential.  Forcing someone to comply with something they do not believe in or want to do only invites rebellion and resistance and the “solution” is never sustainable.  The only life we should be able to control is our own. 

In case you didn’t receive my monthly newsletter, the new intention for Friday Night Meditation  with the Archangels for the month of May is Independence, and it ties in with this article.  It is important to have the right to independently shape our own thoughts, actions, and choices, and in order to enjoy that, we must allow others to be independent in the same way.  I don’t know many people who want to be forced to do things they don’t want to do, but I know a lot of people who think others should be forced.  This has to change.  If you would like to join our meditation group, just call on the Archangels, from wherever you are at whatever time you are available, and offer loving energy with regard to the independence and freedom of choice for all people.  The Angels will do the rest and distribute the collected energy where it is needed most.

I hope you have a wonderful weekend full of joy, hope, love, and peace, and I hope at some point you will join me in looking in the mirror and identifying the things you would like to change in yourself, rather than focusing on changing and judging others. 

Blessings, all.